If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
