I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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