Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
The cops high fived after they tackled you
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