Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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