Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
