i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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