didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Can Purell be used as lube?
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
