I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
