Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
why do cheetos always look like penises
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
