Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
