i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
