yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
