Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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