Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
NoShamevember. You game?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
