So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
