I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I have tasted many bathrooms
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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