dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
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