East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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