The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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