I feel like I'm in dance class right now
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
