my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
i think im in europe. pls send help
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
