I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
they need to just BURY HIM!
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
