have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
