Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
