well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
