I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
