I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
