i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
