What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
