I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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