Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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