I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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