I cockslap morals
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
