i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
