angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
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