So gin and wine won't be happening again
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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