I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
high people should be assigned attendants
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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