were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
