in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
