Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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