but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I understand Curling. That high.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
And then my night got REAL pukey
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
