eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
