I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I have post one night stand depression
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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