just survived the first fart of the relationship.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Randomize
