I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
