Pants 0. Shit 1.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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