I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Help. Why am I so naked?
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