so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
