I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
