He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
