If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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