i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
