i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Text me some of your sweat
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
