I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
