Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Randomize
